To be narcissistic, or to waste away?

As I mature I start to tackle some of life's bigger questions. A main point of contention at present is grappling with how much self love or approval is acceptable. How much can I self promote, or speak with a varied vocabulary that makes the less intelligent of my peers a little uncomfortable, or openly discuss my positions on issues which may imply that I feel morally superior beside others, before sounding conceded and pretentious? (Are you here saying 'Well, you just did, and it was totally lame, bye'?) And then, does it truly matter; should I worry about those things; whose problem is it, really?

There's two main themes on this point which are prevalent in our collective 21st century philosophy discussion. Both contrast one another, and I assume, leave more young adults than just myself feeling a little, if not entirely confused. The first is this immense fear that we are grooming ourselves into a species of narcissistic, keyboard warrior, 'slacktivists',  which draws attention to the age of the internet in which everybody is the best version of themselves as far as their distant peers can perceive, and a large component of this faux-selfie is jumping on bandwagons that make us feel important and intelligent and engaged. One may wonder what further humanitarian effort those who were outraged by Kony 2012 put into the issue once the internet hype had died down and there were no more links to share, but then, did it matter? They'd got a foothold in moral merit, impressed their peers with their overwhelming empathic ability, and that was that. Our young generation is this; this is what we, in various ways and to varying degrees, contribute to amongst the landscape of the world wide web. I'm yet to come across somebodies Facebook on which all they post are the most natural, un edited, representations of themselves, be it through the honesty of their 'selfies' or an equaled conviction between things they propose to give a damn about on social media versus how they are actively altering the situation to the best of their ability in the (cringe) *real world*. But of course, you already knew this, because as I mentioned, we are all losing our minds about it. Kids these days, am I right? We, society, us - are ready to shun this kind of apparently largely innate disposition. It is a moral crime to stand out, to rival your flock, and there are people waiting at every turn to cut you down, and put you back where you belong, lest you threaten them into inferiority! The frequently referenced 'tall poppy syndrome'.

And yet what would we expect - we wake up with each new day only to find that there are a dozen campaigns camped outside our doors, tempting us to never second guess what we personally believe in, to embrace our quirks, curves, sexuality, to be self affirming, and to 'fuck the haters' (you can thank Ancient Rome for that piece of wisdom..). You are encouraged to throw off the shackles; to be your own driving force; to make your own rules; to live and let live - but the small print reads that you must remain entirely modest in this process and cast all critical thought to the bottom of the sea, for in this equation, you must also extend this grace unto others, perhaps more so of a way of justifying your own unhindered self indulgence. This differs from the initial form of narcissism in that the only proclamation you are expected to make of your position on this side of the self-love fence, is to wear a bikini on your chubby self to the beach, or to tell your parents that you might be gay, or at the very least, to find yourself a gay best friend and love them in all their glorious, unholy sin. We are terrified of the statistics among youth involving suicide rates, eating disorders, obesity rates, self harm, depression and the like, but in an attempt to raise awareness, we have managed to turn these very real issues in to buzz words by absorbing them into the viral video sphere, in which some amateur film maker has decided that they could probably make a nice slam poem out of your struggle and perhaps launch their career off the back of it, or at least make a few dollars on YouTube. And so it all is condensed in to an aesthetically pleasing picture, and misses the point entirely. These campaigns are not delivered in a manor that asks us to develop empathy or compassion, they are instead delivered to speak to those of us who can relate directly and who may find comfort in a poetic crutch. While it is necessary to feel validated, we have to be ever so careful not to do harm to those struggling by enabling them; by giving them resting place upon which they may become complacent and attach these things to their entire identity.

Social issues such as these seem to be received very differently to those of a political, environmental or economic persuasion. Why though? Because we are directly involved. I propose that those of us who may sit on this side of the fence are simply too afraid to offend anybody else, or more likely, are very afraid of receiving unwarranted criticism ourselves: "I'll keep to myself, and I expect the same from you: I am happy with my own, and I am happy for you to have yours".  I myself, am over weight, use my depression and anxiety as crutches to remove myself from overwhelming situations such as, oh, I don't know, feeling anything for anybody else.. and I believe that it would do more harm than good to make these issues in to 'other people's problem'; to shift the burden entirely on to 'society'. I don't think it fair to expect society to love and embrace every single flaw of mine or of anybody else, nor do I think it healthy, though apparently this version of self love is more readily accepted.

And so you can see where this conflict may become a constant back and forth. Is it or isn't it okay to be confident across the board, alongside bearing criticism for other people's own confidence in whatever particular topic they may present? Or is it better to love and accept all that is and continue on as though nothing outside your reach is any of your business?
At this point in time, I would suggest that despite the constant ridicule it attracts, the former variety of self love is the most progressive, and though not without it's flaws, the most useful for our development as a whole. I am not asking of us to turn hatred toward all that is different from ourselves; I am however inviting you to take notes from both philosophies in terms of self acceptance and perhaps mild modesty where it is due, but to always consider that, while it may do very little to be a 'narcissistic, keyboard warrior, slacktivist', that these attitudes could hold great power if you were to utilise them in the *real world*. What would that look like?
Have conviction in what you say, an empowered voice in which you say it, and a confidence in yourself and your views that is not dismantled by opposition but is as open to it as you would expect from others, while embracing a type of discourse in which being offended may be something you have to deal with from time to time, but may also be something that encourages growth in your own person and growth in others as a result of encountering debate and discussion on contrasting opinions often. Take a note from Hitchens -
   "The grave will provide plenty of time for silence", and then, keep your pen out and take another note from the man -
   "If someone tells me I've hurt their feelings, I say, 'Well I'm still waiting to hear your point'.. 'That's Offensive!' as if those two words constitute an argument". 

Let us not turn intelligent discussion in to an evil thing, but rather, let it flourish; let us evolve within it's realm.
And though it may appear as though I've diverged slightly from the topic at hand, it is entirely to the point: if your version of self love is similar to my own, you will encounter many incidences in which you will wonder 'Is it more important to remain modest and quite lest I upset anybody, or will it pay to harp on about what may or may not be morally superior, what may or may not be damaging to the human condition, and to call ignorance and intolerance out as it is due?' and then, hopefully you are able to dismiss any and all contentions in order to appreciate your slightly narcissistic brain for all that it is, and simply worry for those among us who are not making the most of their own and contributing to dismissing this notion of entirely relative ideologies. 

Grow tall, poppy, grow tall.